You’re driving me insane. I don’t know what to think. It’s like I’m in a car going a 100 mph and it’s picking up speed. I want it to slow down. I want to be able to observe. I need to see if the signs are there; but you’re dragging me along so fast I can’t take anything in but at a passing glance. I have no idea how you feel. Why are you doing this if you’re with someone else? Am I seeing things that don’t exist? Or are you just as confused about it as me?
I’ve been waving my white flag, trying to get your attention. Trying to show that I like you, but then I’m too afraid to say it outright. I don’t want to lose our friendship. I don’t want us to grow apart. What if you hate me? Or think that I’m weird? Or bash me for reading too much into something that “clearly” wasn’t there? We’ve grown close so quickly. I’m so comfortable around you. More than I’ve ever been with someone, to throw that all away would be beyond foolish!
But you’re literally driving me up a tree. I need to know how you feel because honestly, I’ve never really felt this strongly. I see other guys walking down the street, in the stores, driving their cars, guys I normally would have stared at and enjoyed the view. But, I can’t now. The most I can muster up is an, “oh he’s cute”. What is that all about?! I’ve never done this before.
I wish I knew what was going on in that messed up handsome head of yours. Wish I knew what you were thinking. Maybe you don’t even know and that’s the problem. Maybe you’re unsure too and that’s why you’re sending all these signals jumbled up, like someone attempting Morse Code but doesn’t know what he’s doing. I wish you’d learn soon because all I’m hearing are beeps, clicks, and annoying buzzes.
We need some type of clear communication. Something between that is understood. Are we heading towards something grand or the drop off edge of a cliff? And if I plummet into the raging sea below, will you care? Will you try to save me if as nothing more than a friend? Or will you walk away a bittersweet smile on your face with her? Will you turn your back on our friendship and let me drown? Because sometimes it already feels as if I’m being engulfed by the sea when I’m near you.
I don’t know what else to say or do. Don’t know how to get this across to you. Other than I’ve started having feelings for you. What kind? I’m not even sure. You can figure that out for yourself. Come to your own conclusion. Maybe jumping to conclusions has been our problem all along.
Well there’s no right way to close because this letter could go on forever. So, you fill in the blank above my name.