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Submitted on
July 31
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Dear You,

You’re driving me insane.  I don’t know what to think.  It’s like I’m in a car going a 100 mph and it’s picking up speed.  I want it to slow down.  I want to be able to observe.  I need to see if the signs are there; but you’re dragging me along so fast I can’t take anything in but at a passing glance.  I have no idea how you feel.  Why are you doing this if you’re with someone else?  Am I seeing things that don’t exist?  Or are you just as confused about it as me?  

I’ve been waving my white flag, trying to get your attention.  Trying to show that I like you, but then I’m too afraid to say it outright.  I don’t want to lose our friendship.  I don’t want us to grow apart.  What if you hate me?  Or think that I’m weird?  Or bash me for reading too much into something that “clearly” wasn’t there?  We’ve grown close so quickly.  I’m so comfortable around you.  More than I’ve ever been with someone, to throw that all away would be beyond foolish!

But you’re literally driving me up a tree.  I need to know how you feel because honestly, I’ve never really felt this strongly.  I see other guys walking down the street, in the stores, driving their cars, guys I normally would have stared at and enjoyed the view.  But, I can’t now.  The most I can muster up is an, “oh he’s cute”.  What is that all about?!  I’ve never done this before.  

I wish I knew what was going on in that messed up handsome head of yours.  Wish I knew what you were thinking.  Maybe you don’t even know and that’s the problem.  Maybe you’re unsure too and that’s why you’re sending all these signals jumbled up, like someone attempting Morse Code but doesn’t know what he’s doing.  I wish you’d learn soon because all I’m hearing are beeps, clicks, and annoying buzzes.

We need some type of clear communication.  Something between that is understood.  Are we heading towards something grand or the drop off edge of a cliff?  And if I plummet into the raging sea below, will you care?  Will you try to save me if as nothing more than a friend?  Or will you walk away a bittersweet smile on your face with her?  Will you turn your back on our friendship and let me drown?  Because sometimes it already feels as if I’m being engulfed by the sea when I’m near you.

I don’t know what else to say or do.  Don’t know how to get this across to you.  Other than I’ve started having feelings for you.  What kind?  I’m not even sure.  You can figure that out for yourself.  Come to your own conclusion.  Maybe jumping to conclusions has been our problem all along.

Well there’s no right way to close because this letter could go on forever.  So, you fill in the blank above my name.

___________________,
You-Know-Who
...
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:iconspartans300:
Spartans300 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is how my mind is going to work when/if I find a girl. Especially one that I genuinely think is going to give me hope for love. 
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:iconhowlingghostwolf:
howlingghostwolf Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014
Aw <3
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:iconsaevuswinds:
saevuswinds Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Student Writer
:hug: I hope everything gets better soon. 
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:iconhowlingghostwolf:
howlingghostwolf Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014
:hug:
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:iconkorenreynon:
korenreynon Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I just got out of this situation, and I will tell you from a first-hand account that there is a look capable of completely erasing the numbness and the imprisonment of the "lost puppy syndrome". I know, because that one look shook me from years of having been lost and following one girl who didn't want me. She's still a very close friend, but that's all I will ever see her as now, and she never wanted it to be any different.
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:iconhowlingghostwolf:
howlingghostwolf Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014
Man I'm sorry that happened to you. But glad that you didn't lose your friendship.
I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose him as a friend which
I feel like will happen if I do say something. And he's really close to the family
and I don't want to make him dislike them. I've tried my best to let him know
without letting him know.  He is just so darn confusing. Like we talked at church
and a few outings we kinda hung out in our little group but recently he's taken up
to texting me basically all day long which surprises me.
Reply
:iconkorenreynon:
korenreynon Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't want to discourage you, but take only the things he says in person at face value. If he isn't willing to say something in person, he probably doesn't mean it.
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:iconhowlingghostwolf:
howlingghostwolf Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014
We just chat mostly. It's just so unlike him to text me
it makes me wonder. But I know it's dumb of me.
Reply
:iconkorenreynon:
korenreynon Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's not dumb, it's just hard to read a person's true intentions. I read people all of the time, and I can say honestly that people are easiest to read when they are trying to hide their true feelings from us. However, I make mistakes all of the time, and I miss the mark. We all do. Maybe you should ask him what has inspired to text you so much. If he is ready to tell you, he will. If he isn't, just be patient. :)
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:iconhowlingghostwolf:
howlingghostwolf Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014
I'm usually extremely good at reading people and that's
one of the main things that is driving me crazy about it all.
It's like I don't mind just being his friend if that's what he wants
but if there could be something more there then I don't wanna
pass it up either.
That is a good idea, I think I will :)
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