literature

February 14th

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howlingghostwolf's avatar
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Literature Text

I act like I don't care
I make believe that I am not bothered
I laugh about it
Call it stupid
I say it's not for me
But deep inside
Deep down inside
It's a totally different story

I am a broken mess
Barely getting by
Hating every minute
Every day leading up to it
I cry alone at night
To the chorus of
A broken heart
And shattering hope
I lie awake
And wonder
If I was different would it matter?
If I was pretty would someone care?
If I was important would someone love me?
If I was popular would someone make time?
I will always be like this
Alone
Dying
But faking alright
It's so much easier to fake alright
There are no questions then
There are already so many questions inside
I don't need any additional ones

I wanna scream
I wanna holler
Inside I am alright
If you look inside
I am alright
But love is often blind
And often shallow
If you can't attract someone
With beauty
They won't take the time to know
Won't take the time to learn
Can you blame them?
In my case
No
Or is that my inside
Isn't so good either?
Maybe I have nothing going for me
Nothing going for me at all
And that leaves me worse off
Than I ever thought before

My heart is bleeding
My soul is withering away
I long for love
I have been told
It takes time
You can't look for love
Let it find you
But for that to happen
You have to be something
And what am I?
Invisible
And when seen
Horrible
Love won't find me
It's not looking

One more day
That's all I have to wait
Then all the hype will fade
Not that the pain will
Not that the longing will
Not that the wanting will pass
But it won't be in the spotlight
It won't be punching me in the face
Blackening my eye
Breaking, blooding my nose
Ripping out my heart
And leaving it in the cold
To freeze

It will be so much easier to


Act like I don't care
Make believe that I am not bothered
Laugh about it
Call it stupid
Say it's not for me
Even though I know
Deep inside
Deep down inside
It's a totally different story
© 2014 - 2024 howlingghostwolf
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